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    When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)

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    Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.  ~Truman Capote

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    One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters.  ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640

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    They say that age is all in your mind.  The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body.  ~Author Unknown

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    Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year:  The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again.  ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson

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    There is still no cure for the common birthday.  ~John Glenn

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    Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life.  ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities

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    Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament.  But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland

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    You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience.  ~Author Unknown

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    Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.  ~Bill Cosby







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    Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes.  ~Gloria Naylor

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    There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself.  ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994

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    Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.  ~Sam Ewing

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    I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now.  ~Author Unknown

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    Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown.  ~Author Unknown

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    You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience.  ~Author Unknown

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    There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself.  ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994

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    Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier.  ~Dan Bennett

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    A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.  ~Robert Frost

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    Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.  ~Bob Hope







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    Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.  ~Herbert Asquith

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    I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich.  ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter

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    The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.  ~Lucille Ball

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    A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun.  Enjoy the trip.  ~Author Unknown

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    They say that age is all in your mind.  The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body.  ~Author Unknown

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    Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.  ~Bill Cosby

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    It kills you to see them grow up.  But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't.  ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams

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    I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich.  ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter

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    One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters.  ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640

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    Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.  ~Bill Cosby





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    I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now.  ~Author Unknown

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    Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.  ~Charles Schulz

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    A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.  ~Robert Frost

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    Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!  ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836

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    Never raise your hand to your kids.  It leaves your groin unprotected.  ~Red Buttons

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    Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.  ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990

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    When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened.  It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.  ~Mark Twain

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    Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.  ~Herbert Asquith

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    First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.  ~Branch Rickey

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    Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat.  Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound.  Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together.  Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.  ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968









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    One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters.  ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640

    --------------

    First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.  ~Branch Rickey

    --------------

    Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life.  ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities

    --------------

    There is still no cure for the common birthday.  ~John Glenn

    --------------

    Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat.  Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound.  Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together.  Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.  ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968

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    Never raise your hand to your kids.  It leaves your groin unprotected.  ~Red Buttons

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    When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened.  It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.  ~Mark Twain

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    There is still no cure for the common birthday.  ~John Glenn

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    You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience.  ~Author Unknown

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    Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever.  ~Author Unknown







     

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